Don't say yes when you want to say no!

In high school, my principal advised me to read a book titled, Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No! When I thought about that today, it helped me to realize that my problem with having too many things on my agenda has been going on for a long time. It was something that he recognized in me when I was seventeen years old. The problem is...the lines are really blurred. There are only rare times when I am aware that I want to say no and feel for some reason that I can't. Usually, I say yes for a different reason. Usually, it's because I don't want to miss out on ANYTHING. That started a long time ago, too. That comes from being the much younger sibling of four...

I am currently concerned about the state of our society, or at least the part of our society where I live and breathe. I am not alone. Most people that I know are too busy. Like me, they say, yes, too often. I have a theory that if we could slow down, make our goals achievable, and concentrate on doing each of those things well, we would be much more successful. Instead, I rush. I look at the list. It is beyond reason and as soon as I think, "I can't possibly..." my internal voice says, "Oh, yes you can!" Just to confirm that my internal narrative is accurate, I often hear from colleagues statements like, "Oh,really? You're not going to do ANY work this weekend?" or "You might just have to resign yourself to working through your summer holidays." Have we lost track of what is really important in life? Beyond that, is this continual fast paced fury any more efficient?

I can articulate my inner narrative and I, actually, disagree with it both privately and publicly. But alas, I have yet to escape the anxiety that I feel when I am judged through the lens of the christian work ethic and someone looks down on me and says that I need to work harder. Inside my head, I hear the voice and the voice says, "See, I told you so!"

Monday, what a pleasant surprise!

Last night, I got into bed on the wrong side but surprisingly I got out on the other side!! I knew it the minute my eyes opened. I had a brand new attitude! What a great way to start the day! I'm not sure but it might have had something to do with my decision to turn off the 6am alarm. I shut it off and decided that I really NEEDED more sleep. Two hours later, I was good to go.

My work was waiting right where I left it last night. So, I came directly to my computer to get started. I already had the payoff in mind. If I worked hard and finished the task, I would have time to have lunch with my colleague Mike (from Mike's Musings about Ed Tech). So, I was motivated both to get up and to get started. It worked. I finished the report by 10:30 and had time for a shower and a Skype discussion with the person who was awaiting the final draft of the report.

After lunch, I had a list of meetings...1pm, 2pm, 3:30pm. They were all good meetings and I came home ready to tackle the next challenge. The next task is to do the project description for a funding proposal.  I have worked on it for most of the evening - except for the time that I took to go for a quick and cold walk around the block! Tonight's work was my favorite kind - colored pens, sticky notes, and BIG paper! It seems that I can always think better when I enlist the support of those kinds of supplies.

Tomorrow, it's Dr. Bev Day! I am looking forward to our call but I don't remember, if I have any homework. I'm sure I must. I will probably have it written down in my notes from our last meeting. Oh, damn! Now, I remember. I was supposed to tweet one of my blogs. Yikes. I haven't done it, yet. I've been waiting for a good one. I wish I had tweeted the one about the non-negotiables. I guess, I could still tweet it. Or, I could wait until I write another one that seems fit for public consumption, right?....Right?

Was it Sunday today??

This will be a short post.

I kept my promise. See pictures below as proof.

 

I had an extremely stressful day...work, work, family, and work with family. It was exhausting. I'm so glad that it is a short week!!

Saturday in the Office!

Hmmm...grrrr. Saturday at work? Yes, I have decided to work this weekend. I chose to work. I am happy to be working. That was the self-talk that I was doing ALL morning. Here is how the day turned out:

I did good about staying focused on my work but I managed to passively agressively negotiate my non-negotiables. I'm looking at the clock, right now, and wondering which ones I can stick in before bed. I'm thinking that r-e-l-a-x-a-t-i-o-n looks good. I think I'll pick that one for sure. I'm also favoring food because I'm sure that it will help me to sleep better. I guess, I will sacrifice exercise, again. Instead, I will make the commitment to get up tomorrow morning, pull on a hat and go out for a walk before I do ANYTHING else. I'm just not in the mood for dancing tonight!

As for the day, it was pretty good. I'm less stressed about work on Saturday. I always feel like no one can tell me how much work is enough on Saturday. So, I do it with joy and I do it just the way that I want to do it. I take time and I make sure that I do it well. I love that sense of accomplishment - the job well done.

I started slowly this morning. That also makes me happy. I like to relax first and then ease into it. Once I turned my attention to work, I started with formatting a report for a colleague. I moved on to reviewing some documents that came out of our meeting about the entrepreneurial 'think tank' the other night. Finally, I reviewed an ethics application for my one graduate student who is preparing to engage in his thesis research. Additionally, I returned emails and phone calls regarding each of the aforementioned tasks. It was a good day.

Snow Day!

Today, it is snowing again.

This morning, I puttered at home...email, booking a hotel for an upcoming conference, organizing. It is surprising how quickly time flies. Each job takes 'just a few minutes' but those minutes certainly add up.

This afternoon, I had a few meetings at the university.

Tonight, I went with friends to a dinner theatre in a small town outside of the city. The play was hilarious. The actors did a marvelous job of the physical comedy. The meal was delicious. When we arrived at our table, I noted that they had it decorated with 'cake pops'. They are little balls of cake stuck on the end of a wooden stick and then dipped in chocolate. And, they are certainly the IT treat this spring because I keep seeing them everywhere! First, my niece at The Fabulous Design File had made them for her son's super hero birthday party. Next, I noticed that they were the new item on the Starbucks menu and now, I have identified them for the third time at the dinner theatre tonight. They were so delicious that I ate two!

They had filled the parfait glasses with 'sprinkles' (like you would put on donuts, or ice cream, or birthday cake) so that when they stuck the cake pops in they stood up like little bouquets. Beautiful!

One foot after the other.

Today, I tried a different method for coding and it helped me to be more engaged in the task. I listened to the taped interviews with headphones and my iPod while I read through the transcripts and coded the text. The process helped in two ways: 1. I stayed more focused (always good). 2. I was more in touch with the person and I was reminded of the day, the dynamics, and the less tangible aspects of each interview. I think it helped me to understand the intent of the comments at a deeper level and I think it will help me to remember each of the participants more deeply as I try to develop their collective understanding.

I worked on the transcripts all morning. Then, I stopped for lunch and went back for about the same amount of time in the afternoon. At 3:40, I had a committee meeting at the university. I did grocery shopping on my way home and I stopped at Staples to pick up a new notebook because I have been feeling like I might do better, if I made more structured to do lists each night before I packed it in for the day. There's nothing like a new notebook and pen to motivate me to pay attention to my lists for a few days!

Tonight, I had agreed to do some consulting for a private business group who is planning a 'think tank' for a new entrepreneurial initiative that they have been planning. I was meeting them on Skype at 8:00 pm. So, I came home after grocery shopping to make supper and have an hour or so to relax before I had to focus on their needs. It was a good meeting. It's always fun to do things like that. Although the task was related to my administrative/leadership skill set, it was such a different focus that it I found it really refreshing. I love that group process stuff!

Yestday seems so far away!

I forgot to post my activities last night. Ooops. So, I guess that means I have to post twice today!!

Yesterday, was kind of a mediocre day. There aren't any pictures because who wants to take a picture of mediocre? I didn't sleep well the night before. For some odd reason, I woke up in the middle of the night. I NEVER wake up in the middle of the night. And, for some odd reason, I couldn't go back to sleep. I can ALWAYS go back to sleep! So, I watched the clock turn from 2 to 3 to 4 before I fell asleep again. Needless to say, I woke up at 8:30 feeling a little less than perfect!

My afternoon meeting regarding the grant application was cancelled because the project leader was flooded in at home. She sent pictures of her road underwater with the email explaining that she wouldn't be able to make it to the meeting. So, I puttered away at coding my interview data all day. It's a bit slow for me. It makes me want to bounce out of my chair to go 'do something' about once every 15 minutes or so. The timer helps. Usually, I use the timer to make sure that I take a break every 90 minutes. With this task, I use it to make sure that I work for 90 minutes.

The only other big event from yesterday was that I was waiting for my telephone to be fixed. The phone company gave me a window between 8 and 4 when the repair man would arrive. I was tired of waiting so I called at 3:00 just to make sure he was coming. The tech dude on the other end assured me that he still had an hour...LOL. As if an 8 hour window is necessary!! Surely, they can estimate better than that!!

Anyway, my phone was fixed and I moved along with my coding but the day was still mediocre.

The Non-Negotiables ARE Non-Negotiable.

Today, turned out to be a pretty great day.

Last night, I had set out an article that I wanted to read this morning. It was a critical piece for my Aboriginal curriculum leadership research. So, I wanted to take time for deep reading and note taking. That called for a fresh pot of coffee, a seat beside an open window in the morning sunlight, a new page in my note book, and a funky brown pen, pink highlighter, and sticky notes. It was an excellent article and the author quoted many other pieces of research in the same area that I will need to locate and read, as well. It made for an enjoyable morning.

I stopped at 11:30 and made a salad for lunch so that I was prepared to talk to Dr. Bev at noon. We had a great call. I was glad to hear that she had read my blog and she suggested that I should tweet it out to my Twitter followers. So, there might be more people reading it soon! The other thing that we talked about today was my goal list that I had completed for homework in the last week. She brought up an excellent point about how some of the things on the list were non-negotiable - adequate sleep, a nutritious diet, daily exercise, and relaxation. That's a hard lesson to learn. I know that I'm not alone in that struggle. I talk to others on an almost daily basis who are challenged by similar obstacles. We work too hard and sleep too little. We eat too much and exercise too little. It's a classic. We - read I - need to learn that the non-negotiables are non-negotiable. Period.

With that in mind, I set off for the rest of my day. First, I met with the rep from the publishing company. It wasn't what I hoped that it would be. He wanted me to write a text for my undergraduate course. I want to write one for my graduate course. He is probably right to believe that there isn't a wide enough audience for the graduate level text. I agreed to consider the undergraduate text as I teach my class next winter. It might be a possibility.

For the last two weeks, I have been waiting anxiously for the snow drift to disappear from my deck. I have been making a deal with myself that I was going to celebrate by rolling out the BBQ the day the drift was gone. Today was the day. So, I fired up the BBQ, prepared a package with carrots, potatoes, and fresh dill, and headed to Sobey's for the key ingredients to create the perfect burger.

The first backyard burger of the season? Delicious!

The only thing left to do at that point was exercise...and that's non-negotiable, so I did.

Monday...sigh.

Today was not my best day - not even close. But, I learned two things:

1. I have to be more specific when I am setting goals for the day.
2. I have to arrive on time. Early doesn't work for me.

I had made plans to meet a colleague at the university and work together (although separately). I didn't plan how far I would get. I knew that it was the first day with a new software package and that it would probably be a bit tedious at first. I wasn't focused. In fact I was so unfocused that I pulled both of us off task.

Furthermore, I arrived early. I know that's preferred by most people but somehow it is always distracting for me. I get there. I get off task and it's hard to get myself back on track. If I come in when everyone is ready to start, I am prepared and ready to go. Today, I arrived early. By the time my colleague arrived, I had already said that I would help with a project that I didn't put on my goal list yesterday...oh, dear. I know that's not part of my plan.

On the other hand, it's a good project. It will be a fairly high profile project on campus and I do think that it contributes to my overall goal of getting tenure but it wasn't one of my priorities last week. And, I know, one of my goals is to narrow my priorities! Instead, I added another item on the list.

So, I end the day feeling a bit like I failed myself. I didn't accomplish much on the project that I had on my agenda and I added another item to my list of things that definitely have to get finished before the end of the month! Yikes!

The Weekend!

Ah, Saturday and Sunday - so many possibilities! I had a few plans to do small bits of work over the weekend but in the end, I only worked on my home-to-do list.

On Saturday, I decided to tackle my second plumbing job of the week. My downstairs toilet has been leaking for sometime and I keep putting off calling the plumber because I thought perhaps I could fix it myself. I found out that if the problem had been the one that I thought it was that I definitely could have fixed it. I was able to get the tank off and I could remove all of the "stuff" and I could have replaced anything that was inside BUT there was a crack in the tank. I tried to buy a tank. That also would have been simple enough but Home Depot apparently doesn't stock tanks separately. So, I found a young man in the online classifieds who works evenings and weekends. I bought a new toilet and he installed it on Sunday afternoon. Viola!

That was Saturday.

On Sunday, in addition to cleaning and laundry, I baked "Bunny Buns". A Yummy Kirk family Easter/Spring tradition. They turned out so good that I shared them with the plumber. He was here and it smelled so delicious in my house that I knew it must be driving him crazy. So, I offered him a fresh rabbit before he left.

It was a great weekend. I feel refreshed, relaxed, and reorganized. I'd call that a success!

Slowing things down.

Ah, Friday. I love Friday more than any other day. It just feels good. This is going to be a short post sans pictures.

In the morning, I worked at home. I started just after 10 and after going through my mail, I spent the rest of the time doing library searches to begin the literature review for my next research project.

At lunch, I went out with Chris for all-you-can-eat sushi. Always yummy! I wish I had taken a picture. ;)

In the afternoon, we went back to the university and I loaded N-Vivo on to my work computer and Chris gave me a quick lesson on how to bring my data in and how to start coding. So, I am all set up to start that task on Monday morning.

Let the weekend begin!

One step forward...one back?

Yay, I finished my report. That's the good news or at least part of the good news. The other good news is that I worked all day in a series of 90 minute periods with a break in between. In the break, I got up moved around and had something to eat or drink. So, what's the bad news then you might ask. Sigh. The bad news is that I didn't stop for lunch and I only took long enough at supper to make and eat a chicken salad sandwich. I started by 10 am and I pretty much worked straight through until 8:27. But, I am relieved that the report is finished and submitted. Unless, the coordinator of the research centre sends it back with some issue, I won't have to worry about it again...for a while.

Tonight, I'm going looking forward to some left over apple crisp, a cup of tea, and a new episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Tomorrow, I will move on to Transformative Leadership.

The Day I Met My Thermocouple!

I would like to say that today was a day that I will remember forever because I accomplished some great intellectual feat. Not so, even though, I did ‘mostly’ finish my report. The truth is I will remember today because I successfully changed the thermocouple on my hot water heater (HWH) all by myself with a little help from an online guru and a little guidance from my brother via Skype. Still, it was quite an accomplishment!

As I clicked “Publish” on my blog post last night, I was already dreaming of slipping into a nice warm bubble bath – wine glass in hand. When I went to draw the bath, there wasn’t anything warm about the water and it became progressively colder as more water poured into the tub. First, I consulted my friend, Deb, because I knew she would be able to give me front line advice about how to address the issue of a non-functional HWH. I was right. She explained where to look for the pilot light and how to re-light it. The directions on the side of the heater confirmed that she was right and suggested that I should try it several times before I gave up. I tried five times but without fail every time I lifted my finger from the little red button the light went out. Next, I consulted the internet. Many sites suggested that it was a problem with the thermocouple and one or two said that it was an easy part to replace. So, I found a short video where an official plumber explained how to change the thermocouple.

This morning when I went to change the thermocouple, I was a little apprehensive because the video had said that I should turn off the gas before I started my work. I wasn’t sure which of several valves that I could see at the front of the HWH was the right one. So, I Skyped my brother in Saskatoon and presented him with the problem. Once I had him tuned in on my HWH, I decided to keep him there to guide me through the process of removing the old one. It worked pretty much the same way that the video had explained. Then, I was off to Home Depot where I purchased the replacement part for $8.99. The replacement went pretty smoothly, too, and now I have hot water again. Can you guess what I’m thinking of doing when I am finished work tonight??

I know you’re probably thinking, “What about your report? When did you work on it?” Well, I made the decision last night that I was going to get up this morning and work on the report first. Then, when I needed a break, I could do the HWH. So, I worked all morning on the report (two 90 minute cycles) and in the afternoon after the HWH was repaired I completed another full cycle and an additional partial cycle which led me to add the final sentence to the first draft of the report. I am pleased with the results of the report and I regret my initial belief that it wasn’t going to be worthy of the time that I needed to invest into it. In the end, I think the results are worth sharing. I plan to do one more 90 minute segment tonight. I will begin at 7 so that I am finished and ready to enjoy the evening by the 8:30 deadline.

The only other highlight of the day was that I attended to both diet and exercise. See the lovely apple pecan salad that I enjoyed on my lunch break? Although I know you would probably enjoy the photos of my first attempt at the Wii game “Just Dance II”, you won’t find them or the video on this blog. I will tell you that I danced to Kesha, “Tik Tok” and I’m sure that with a little practice I can improve my score considerably!!

Day 2 = Big success!

Getting Started

First of all, for anyone who might inadvertently arrive at my blog and wonder what in the world is going on here, I am developing this blog as a way to chart my progress over the next few months. It seems that I have carved out a few unclaimed days that I can focus my attention on my reading and writing. Sometimes when I do that, I lose track of time. It just seems to slip away from me and the days go by and I'm never really sure what has happened to them. The blog, this blog, is my current attempt to track, to record, and to keep myself honest.

So, let me begin by focusing on today. This is how it went. I talked to my life coach, Dr. Bev at noon today. I promised her that I would stop work at 8:30 tonight regardless of where I was with my report. I almost succeeded. I stopped at 8:44 when I finished the 3rd to last section. Dr. Bev suggested that I work in 90 minute intervals. I completed 3 full cycles and a fourth one that I didn't set my timer for that took me until 8:44.

I am pleased with my progress. I am actually almost finished the report. Tomorrow, I will need to get up in the morning and reread it and then I can begin my conclusions. It is now 18 pages long (even though I don't mark anything by the number of pages in my own writing I still keep track). I haven't added references, or appendices, or anything like that yet. I feel confident that it will be long enough to appear thorough when I am finished.

I was pleasantly surprised by the findings once I played with the results on Survey Monkey a little I was able to find some interesting trends and themes emerging in the data. It still doesn't seem earth shattering to me but it was more interesting than I had previously given it credit for.

It is now 9:01. I need to sign out and get my desk ready for tomorrow morning!