An Assessment Rant!

The school year is well underway. Our new Dean has asked us to reconsider our assessment practices. As always, I am torn. Assessment, in my opinion, has two competing purposes - 1) Feedback for students to help encourage deeper learning, and 2) Reporting out to the public (the university and the field, specifically) to tell them who is the best. Many people maintain that the two go hand in hand. I can't get my head around that. Either, in case 1) I am asking students to take risks, to believe in success, to accept feedback, to let go of past practices of focusing on marks in favor of focusing on learning, and to trust that it will all work out. Or, in case 2) I need to warn students that grading is competitive, only one student can be the best, most can expect to be average, and a few should prepare themselves for failure. I'm not sure how I can expect students to buy in to the first set of requests once I have created the second environment. Furthermore, it is simply not right to be working within framework 2) while telling students that they are participating in a case 1) class.

I believe that I developed my philosophy of assessment from my own perspective as a student. I do not handle criticism well. It has never been helpful to me. It makes me feel like quitting. It makes me dislike and distrust the teacher. I am good at critiquing my own work. I am not easy on myself. I like gentle prodding. I like suggestions. I like mentoring. I like praise. I have never been someone who focuses on marks.

I can think of two examples to illustrate how this has played out in my life. First, my friend's mom was our home room teacher in grade 9. In the fall, after we had returned to school in grade 10, I remember my friend telling me that her mom had shared with her that I had the highest average in our grade nine class. It wasn't something that I expected. It wasn't anything that I had worked to achieve. There were many bright and capable people in my class and although we were all somewhat competitive about marks, I didn't really keep track. My friend's news was a surprise to me. It created within me a picture of myself that I had never had before - the picture of a competent academic.

Fast forward several years to the second example, I was cleaning and sorting trying to pare down my-two-bedroom-bungalow-with-full-basement worth of belongings so that they would fit in a one-bedroom student apartment where I planned to live while I completed my PhD. In one box that I sorted that was full of university assignments and memorabilia, I found a statement of grades from my undergraduate degree (a time before I could check online) unopened. I sort of laughed at myself and my lackadaisical attitude. Why would I neglect to open the envelope? I guess, I knew I had passed. I was uninterested in knowing anymore. My marks were unimportant.

When I opened the transcript more than 10 years and a Master's Degree later, I smiled to think that in that one semester my marks had varied from a perfect score in one class to a low average in at least two more. The difference? Really, it came down to how much I liked the teacher. So, even though at that time the marking would have been comparative with the intent of sorting students, I'm not sure it was accurate. The fact that I was 'outstanding' in Language Arts Methods and 'low average' in Social Studies Methods had little to do with my aptitude and much more to do with my attitude! I have no way to judge how similar or different my experiences are from everyone else's, however, I feel confident that if I am going to err (which no doubt both of my professors at the time did) I would prefer to be the professor who won me over with her charms and received my best work on every assignment. I worked hard to get that perfect mark because she was kind, because I trusted her, and because I could tell that she saw that I was worthy. I want to be kind enough and trust worthy enough and positive enough that my students will work really hard to do well in my class. When they work really hard, and when they succeed, I want to encourage them with positive feedback!

What can you learn from my marks when all of the marks in the class are relatively high? You probably can't tell who was the best student. You probably can tell whether or not I judged the student to have met all of the criteria that I had set for the class. I would say that an A+ indicates that a student met all of my criteria. Students who received As or A minuses met most of the criteria. Students who received Bs needed to do more. It probably meant that I gave them feedback saying that they needed to improve and then I did not see the corresponding improvement. If my students are like me, a high mark probably means that they worked hard to do well in my class, they asked for feedback, they made improvements, they met my criteria! That is still lots of information to be learned from a transcript. How could lower grades with greater divergence be any more informative?

Ahhh, August Long!

Well, it's Monday of the August long weekend. Unable to make better plans, I decided to stay in Brandon and dig into my housework. Actually, I decided that I needed to carve out an office space from the storage room that currently houses my desk!! I think I succeeded. Here are a few pictures of my reorganization. I will let you be the judge.

The Reading Corner - My main intent was to reorganize the current furniture to make room for this incredible wing back chair that my family once bought as a birthday gift for my maternal grandmother. As you can see, it works. I still need to add a lamp which I plan to put behind the chair. I have hung the picture (my old elevator that I painted in 1989) a bit offside to leave room for the lamp which I plan to purchase sometime this week.  Since putting the chair in place earlier in the weekend, I have managed to read one and a half novels in it. So, I guess it works as a reading space. However, that might indicate that there is an issue with how I managed my time during my 'working' weekend...LOL! (If you're interested, I read Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda and I am more than 1/2 way through Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. Both of the authors are Canadian and both of the stories are quite amazing!)

The Office Space - It's not perfect but it provides everything that I need and it is a comfortable space. Someday soon, I would like to purchase a real desk with space for my laptop (Currently, I move the wireless keyboard off the table and place it on the computer underneath.), papers, and notes. I would also like to add some wall organizers that would allow me to lift some of the things off the desk and give me a space to tack notes, pictures, memorabilia and other things that collect in an office. For now, I am happy to have a new printer/copier/scanner and a somewhat larger space than I had before!

The Deep Freeze - I know, I know, you want to know why my deep freeze is in my office! The simple answer is that I have placed it in the office for convenience. Not so that I can get an ice-cream sandwich while I'm working but because I wanted a space on the main floor to put the freezer. You have to admit that it looks better than you imagined when you first realized that I had a deep freeze in the office! (Hahaha, the joke is on me. I didn't realize that I had placed my camera case in the photo. Ooops!)

The Extra Chair - If by chance I need to meet with someone or if I am working with a partner/colleague on a project, I have an extra chair that can easily be pulled to a position where the person has a view of the computer screen.

My Make-up Centre - Ok, this room is really so much more than an office! In one corner, I have my make-up centre. This is an essential element in my home. I spend a great deal of time each day at this station. I want it to be a place that is organized and inviting. Skipping this part of my morning routine (although I don't really have a routine) is one of the reasons that I LOVE to work at home! To the side of the make-up centre is the bookshelf. I didn't think it deserved it's own picture because really wasn't part of the weekend overhaul. Sometime next week, as I am dispersing the other things that I moved out of the office area, I will need to work on the bookshelf in order to make room for a few more titles.

So, what do you think?? I'm pretty pleased with the overall progress. I know, that there is so much more that could be done to enhance this space but the change is significant and so far my budget has been $0.00. Maybe this fall, I will contemplate paint, or wall paper, and a new desk. Anything is possible! Tomorrow, work will begin right here in my new home office!!

23 Days Later...A quick update!

Well, I've taken a break from blogging. I'm not sure why. To begin with, work has taken me away from home and away from the routine that I had developed using Bev's non-negotiables. As a result, I haven't been stopping each night by 8:30 to write my blog. I have continued to think about it though and I will have to go back through my pictures to see what interesting photos I have taken over the last 23 days with blogging on my mind.

June 3, was my last post. That was the day before convocation. Convocation was good. It's always fun to see my students crossing that imaginary threshold and moving into a new life. It is SO exciting for them and therefore vicariously exciting for me, too.

Sandy and I at BU Convocation on June 4th! Photo compliments of Mike Nantais' Photo of the Day page.

@ home after the ceremony - need to redo my hair!!

Wa-la! A bit of hair technology magic and I'm ready for the banquet!!

The morning after convocation, I was off to Norway House, MB to begin work on a new research project. It was my first time in northern MB - So beautiful! Our meetings went smoothly and we left feeling like it was going to be the beginning of a great partnership between Brandon University and the northern community/school.

Here we are aboard Perimeter Airlines.

York Boats ready for the races!

For the rest of that week, I was back in Brandon preparing presentations for the following week - an afternoon session on classroom management for mini-university at BU, a presentation/discussion about social media in higher education with Mike via Skype in Saskatoon, and a Fish Philosophy workshop for Cypress Hills Eco Adventure Tours at Cypress Hills Provincial Park in Saskatchewan.

Additionally, I have attended the Manitoba Summer Fair, planted over 100 annuals and several perrenials into my yard, spent a weekend with my Mom, and played a round of golf with Sandy at Taurus Pines Golf Course in Brandon!

Wild Flowers from The Whitemud River Valley

This weekend, June 24-26, I went to Grenfell. As I was getting close to town, I saw a definite funnel cloud. The first picture was taken from my car and you can see the funnel at the bottom of the clouds along the left hand side. The second picture is taken from Deb's driveway and the funnel is higher in the cloud formation. I don't think I have ever seen a funnel cloud before. It was amazing because it was so active. It would get long and skinny like it is in picture number two and then it would gain width or it would get shorter. It was continually changing shape and size. I was fascinated.

Does Innovation Require Some Blindness?

Here is another thought that is directly connected to yesterday's post about decision making and whether or not you can have too many voices. As I was working on a reply to Mike's comments from yesterday, I started to think about the criteria that you would need to consider to build an environment for innovation within your organization. If indeed there is a tipping point when you have considered too many perspectives, does that mean that in order to take the risk and try something new that one needs to be at least partially blind to the possible consequences of the action?

Often when we try new approaches, we find that although our actions might have resolved a previous problem that new problems arise as a result of the new initiative. On the other hand, learning is a direct result of trying new things, inquiry. If rather than trying something out, we ask around enough, someone or many people will give us an extensive list of all of the reasons that we shouldn't experiment. I think a good example is the Toronto family who has made the news recently for not revealing the gender of their baby. In short, they caused public outrage. The critics are telling them all of the negative impacts that the action will have on the baby. Yet, we continue to accept a variety of discipline practices within our society that run a fine line between discipline and abuse because we are familiar with the outcomes. I, for one, support the family. I am interested in what they will learn. Although there might be some negative impact, I feel pretty confident that it won't be the only negative impact that this child or any other child will experience in life.

So perhaps, it does require a certain level of blindness to the possibilities to be truly innovative. And perhaps, the process that is utilized by universities of passing each and every decision through many layers of decision making not only serves to infuse wisdom but limits the possibility of having cutting edge innovations emerge from the institution. Maybe, if you truly want to be an innovator, you need to work independently or at least within a small group of like-minded people so that you can take risks without considering all of the possible pitfalls. 

As for me, for now, I plan to continue to support the practice of collaborative consensus building because I still believe that it helps us to make better decisions, to develop a greater sense of ownership, and to increase commitment to the organization. But, I will probably have to resign myself to not doing anything that is particularly innovative, eh?

Voices: Can there be too many?

I am home. Although I'm not really a 'home girl', it is good to be back to my own bed (Yes, I've already had a nap!) and to be able to have a steamy hot bubble bath (Yes, I've already done that, too!). The 2011 Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences in Fredericton, NB was a huge success in my opinion. I am SO glad that I decided to attend.

Speaking of opinions, I attended a session at the conference that has me thinking about opinions. For years, I have been a staunch supporter of the practice of consensus building in organizational decision making. I truly believe that it is important to hear and to listen to the dissonant voices in a conversation. I have argued vehemently with my colleagues that through the process of collaboration and consensus building we reach better decisions, create conditions for distributed leadership, and increase the level of commitment to the organization. The question that I was encouraged to consider during the session was, "Is there a point at which the cost of collaborative consensus outweighs the benefit?"

The answer is, of course. In decision making, as with all things, we need to find a balance. In this case, we are seeking a balance between discussion and action. Discussion without action is no more productive than action without discussion. The presentation that I attended was a presentation about change in higher education. The presenter, Vicky Squires from the University of Saskatchewan, had interviewed university leaders who were involved in developing a school of public policy. One of her participants explained that at least in one part of the process the decisions had to be filtered through eleven different layers or committees before they could move forward. The participant described the phenomenon as being "a thousand points of no."

The reaction in the room to this description was interesting. It was met with loud, friendly laughter from a large group of people who could obviously relate to the frustration of the research participant. Personally, it made me reflect on our own faculty and how it seems so difficult for anyone to be able to move any initiative forward. Dr. Squires concluded that segment of her presentation by leaving us with the question of innovation and whether a university could be truly innovative, if it took so long for decisions to be made within the system. Good question!

My Last Day in Fredericton.

Big sigh. I wish I could stay for one more day. I went downtown tonight for the first time all week. It's a cool place. I am always amazed at how much older the history is in the Maritimes than it is in western Canada.

My presentation was today. It went well. Someone came up to me afterwards and told me that she wished that she could just have a one on one full day workshop with me. She was so sure that there was SO much more that I could teach her. That was a great compliment considering that I was feeling a little anxious about my presentation. I enjoyed both of the other papers that were presented at the same time as mine. One was by Kyhm Goslin from University of Prince Edward Island and was entitled "An Instructional Leadership Constellation for 21st Century Changes." The other one was the dissertation research of Cindy Rottmann from University of Manitoba about the social justice movement within the BCTF. Mine was called "Stories of Change: Transformative Leaders Working toward Social Change through Curriculum Initiatives." Surprisingly, the three presentations did have a common thread and the discussion that followed was outstanding.

Other points of interest in my day:
1. I spent the remainder of the afternoon with Sherry from our faculty. We had a really good visit and then, we attended a round table discussion that featured Susan Aglukark, who is now at the University of Alberta mentoring Aboriginal students as they transition to university life.
2. I had supper at The Blue Door Restaurant downtown with a Philosophy scholar from Massachusetts.
3. I took a city bus downtown and it was quite a winding path from here to there past several points on the St. John's River and past many incredible old houses. The ones with a view of the water were especially luxurious.
4. I shopped in some of the stores downtown that were staying open late just for conference goers.

I am headed home bright and early tomorrow morning. My plane leaves Fredericton at 6:10 am. The shuttle at that time of day is doing a milk run around to all of the conference hotels to pick up passengers. It is leaving from the university at 3 am. Hmmm...I think I'll call a cab!!

Day III @ Congress

Whoa! I stayed up WAY too late last night!! I was writing my blog. I'm not good at the time change. Anyway, I had to chair an 8:30 am session this morning. That's 6:30 in MB and 5:30 in SK and not my time of day. On the other hand, the session was great. The topic was recruitment and retention. It started with a Master's student presentation from the University of Alberta. Her study was really kind of neat. She started with herself and did a narrative exploration of some of her untold stories of teaching. Then, she gathered a group of teachers for a two day "summit" where they used her narrations as a starting point for discussion. She encouraged them to talk about some of the things that we, as teachers, never talk about. When the audience pressed her for an example of the 'silences', she said, "Well, like taking a sick day to catch up on marking." Hmmm...ok, that made sense to me. I can think of a few more examples but let's not talk about them, ok?

The next presenter was a principal from PEI who was doing his Ph.D. at UNB. He was studying reasons that so few people are choosing to apply for administrative positions. The final presenters were from the University of Saskatchewan who had completed a study about teacher recruitment and retention in First Nations schools in Saskatchewan. My favorite part was the discussion that took place following the presentations. There were about 20 people in the room and all but two of them participated in the discussion. That meant that I actually had to be the chair because, of course, they all wanted to talk at the same time!

In my next session, a lady sat next to me who had come to the presentation to hear a specific presenter. She was a member of another association. She was shocked by how the CASEA session stayed on time. Apparently in her association it's a bad thing to present last because the presenters before you have probably gone over time. I guess when you tell an administrator that she is responsible for chairing a meeting and she actually chairs the meeting! Predictable, yet amusing.

Tonight was our Canadian Association for the Study of Educational Administration (CASEA) banquet. It was held at Frogmore Estate in Fredericton, an old victorian mansion with period furnishings. It was the perfect venue for our group. The meal was catered by BrewBaker's and it was delicious. However, dessert was a bit of a disaster. They set out a table of one bite desserts. The people first few tables (me included) selected 2-4 bite sized portions but apparently they hadn't anticipated that we would take more than one. So, they ran out before all of the tables had been served. I have mixed feelings: guilt because I had three portions of dessert, frustration because even three portions was a very small portion, and relieved that I wasn't at the last table!

Day II at Congress 2011

Ah, fresh clothes, a shampoo, and a layer of make-up! What a great way to boost your confidence! Ok, my confidence! That was the beginning of the excitement on day two of the conference. Today was a great day. I had the opportunity to listen to some amazing speakers. I am torn between two sessions that were both my favorites. Here is a run down of the highlights!!

Chief Shawn Atleo - Wow! He was fantastic. If you know me, you know that I am not a note taker. I'm telling you, I couldn't write fast enough. In previous sessions, I have used the Felix Notes App to write a few comments that I wanted to keep but I had to put it down and get my note book out because he was totally noteworthy! He is the National Chief of the Assembly of First Nations. In his address today, he was making the point that it was imperative to increase education funding to the point that we could close the gap between Aboriginal students and other students in the system. He pointed out how much we would save in the end by building educational success for Aboriginal children and youth. One of my favorite parts from his speech was something his grandmother had told him. She said, "I raised my children to be fighters. I was a fighter. Grandson, you need to be a fighter, too. We no longer need to fight with our fists. Today we can fight with education. Get an education." He also talked a lot about his favorite new book, David Hackett-Fisher's, Champlain's Dream. Now, I want to read it, too!

Armand Garnet Ruffo - Also, wow! He has written and directed a full-length feature film about the impact of residential schools. It was excellent. After the viewing, there was a discussion with him. Even though I stay at the top of the hill and the movie was playing at the bottom, it was worth the trip. I highly recommend seeing this film - A Windigo Tale. The trailer doesn't really do the movie justice. In the movie the character development was tangible. I was deeply involved with the characters. The music was awesome and the scenery, whereever they were shooting, was breath taking. A good movie. Also, I arrived on time...shocker! And, I found out what it looks like when you arrive on time for something. See below!

Michael Corbett - Michael Corbett was my first CASEA presentation and he was excellent. First, he was a good presenter. He stood in the middle of the room and he talked to us. When the chair person gave him his five minute warning, he hadn't moved from the first slide and my mind had never wandered from his presentation. He was talking about rural policy tensions. After his five minute warning, he moved on and showed us some statistics with the PISA testing results illustrating that Nova Scotia scores fairly low compared to the rest of Canada and that they have a higher number of rural students and a much lower average income. So, he left us with the question, "Is it possible that there is a rural school effect that causes Nova Scotian students to perform above the level that the provincial average income would suggest?" I really liked the way that he took a deficit and reframed it so positively.

The President's Reception - At the President's Reception, I took these two pictures from the deck where it was being held. This is SUCH a beautiful place!

Then, I bought a sandwich and ate it in this little park before the movie!

 ...with this beautiful tree!

I've Arrived...or, maybe not!!

So, I am in Fredericton, NB at St. Thomas University (alma mater of Brian Mulroney according to Wikipedia). I am not quite through the first 24 hours and already it has been quite a trip! The good news is that it isn't all bad news. First of all, Fredericton is a small city about the same size as Brandon. And, it is home to two universities St. Thomas University, and University of New Brunswick (Fredericton Campus). The two universities are located together on the side of a hill, which is a challenge for walking but luckily Congress has a bus looping the main campus drive for 12 hours a day. Needless to say, I walked to the bottom and took the bus up. UNB was established here in 1785 making it one of the oldest universities in North America. It is an absolutely beautiful campus. I have included two pictures that I took today but I will take more as the week goes along.





It's totally the kind of place where you could wear a beefeater hat and it wouldn't look out of place!!




This is my residence. The outside is beautiful, but wait...



 So, I left Brandon at about noon yesterday (ok, I left my house at 12:15 and it was more like 12:45 before I actually left Brandon...LOL) and I picked up something quick to eat in the car. We were late leaving Winnipeg which meant we were late arriving in Montreal. When we got to the Montreal airport the funniest thing happened, we got off at gate 21. There were 10 or more people all travelling to the conference. We found lots of signs directing us towards "Connecting Flights" but we didn't see a screen where we could check for our gate until we had literally gone down an escalator, along a long moving sidewalk, down a second escalator and through three other regular corridors. When we finally found the screen, it said that our plane was leaving from gate 23, which you have probably already guessed was right next to gate 21!! It was even funnier because we didn't travel all in one group so as we were going we met some people coming back and as we were coming back we met people who were going that later turned up at the gate. It begged the question "How many university professors...?" Anyway, there was no time for eating in Montreal.

While I took the walking tour of the Montreal airport, I missed the announcement that had warned passengers travelling on our flight that there was heavy fog in Fredericton and the plane might not be able to land. In that case, the pilot would need to turn around and go back to Montreal. Just like happens on the flights from Calgary to Medicine Hat in the Winter time, when they need to take extra fuel they take less luggage. And guess what? My luggage was among the luggage that was left behind. So, when we arrived in Fredericton, there was no little (little as in big) black suitcase on the carousel!! We arrived in Fredericton at 11:35 but due to the luggage issue it was 2 am before I checked into my room in residence and there was no food in sight! My room was slightly disappointing (You'll see in the picture but the picture actually makes it look nice by comparison to the reality.) and more than slightly cold. By the time, I navigated through the bathroom, unpacked my computer, checked my email fb'd with a friend, and settled in for the night, it was 3am. The very next thing that I did was sleep through breakfast! And, it was 11:30 am before I realized that Tim Horton's was located in the next building.

Still working on the window casings so they gave me a free beer token to make it up to me! I say, "A free beer is a free beer!"

You have probably noticed that at this point I had the window open. Within about 10 minutes I was freezing and that little beige blanket was not made for warmth.

It is currently after 8 pm and my luggage has just arrived. So, I'm off to have a shower. No. Wait. I didn't even tell you about the session that I went to. I'll make it quick. It was called, "Storywork Praxis: Basket Weaving, Narrative Tapestries, Metaphoria, integrative Complexity and Fishing." The presenter was Marlene Atleo from the University of Manitoba. She talked about metaphor, storytelling, and the interface between Euroheritage and Aboriginal heritage. She was a good speaker, interesting, and definitely an abstract random rather than a linear sequential, which I always find somewhat refreshing!

Tomorrow, will be a better day - clean clothes and a clean slate!

Reunited and it feels so good! If you're straining to see what is written on that pink tag it says, "You won't look good in my clothes!"

It's Friday!

Well, let me start by clearing up the confusion about the hood to go with my academic regalia. I was right. It should be green and gold. So, the company is sending out the correct one so that it will be here in time for convocation and I am supposed to send the red and blue one back. Whew! Color is good but that was a bit too much, even for me!

I am off to Fredericton tomorrow. I will write a few posts while I am at the conference just to let you know how my presentation is progressing. I present it next Wednesday and I am hoping to see it transform into something significant by then.

Currently, I am debating the wisdom of my choice to use software to analyze the data rather than doing it manually. It's organized but somehow it feels inaccessible. And today, the program refused to open. It said that I needed to supply the activation code but when I did, it said that the activation code was already in use. That's right, it was in use because I had already activated the software two months ago! When I finally got it to open, I promptly made Word files to back up all of the work that I have done so far. Although I love technology, sometimes I still question whether it is the most efficient process.

Have a great weekend!

Wow, Time Flies!

It was one week ago today that I published my last post. Where did the week go?

I finished my coding last week and moved on to getting ready for a presentation yesterday and one today that I wasn't actually able to attend. So, since Wednesday I have spent many hours using PowerPoint. It was kind of fun because I was determined to make the slides more creative and to venture outside of my usual point and click. But, as you know, creativity always takes longer!

Our presentation yesterday went really well. We, myself and a graduate student from the University of Manitoba, were facilitating a discussion between eight school divisions about sharing the responsibility for several professional development initiatives that they are planning for next year. This group of school divisions hopes to overcome some of the challenges by working together. Our role was to review the literature that might be helpful and to lead the discussion around how to work together.

There are several challenges that face rural school divisions as they endeavour to offer professional development opportunities to their teachers: For example, a) travel costs - The large distances between schools often means that it is costly to move teachers to a central location to participate in professional development. Additionally, it means that it is sometimes unreasonable to have 1/2 day sessions or after school meetings. Or, b ) work loads - Rural schools usually have a small number of students. Therefore, one teacher teaches a wide range of subjects or teaches every one the courses offered at the school in a particular subject. So, rather than having a Mathematics Department there is only one Mathematics teacher. This issue limits the opportunities that rural teachers have to build professional learning networks with other teachers in their buildings. 

To arrive at the meeting on time, I had to leave my house by 6:30 am. I am not a morning person. So, leaving early is always a colossal challenge for me! I did leave by 6:45 and we did arrive on time...whew! It was a good day with a fantastic group of people. They gave us Gerbera Daisies as a thank-you gift. They're my favorite kind of flowers so they couldn't have made a better choice!

This morning, I slept until 8:30. I felt like I deserved it after yesterday!! I was hardly out of bed when my door bell rang. I wasn't dressed yet so I checked through my blinds to see who it was. I couldn't see anyone so I decided not to answer it. The bang that followed suggested that the person had left a package in my mail box. As soon as I was sure that he or she was out of sight, I decided to go down to see what it was. When I got half way down the steps, the phone rang. It was one of my students who needed me to attend to several issues regarding his Master's thesis. By the time I had resolved his issues, I had forgotten all about the package. When I left my house to go out for lunch, I found a package, not in the mailbox but, wedged between my two doors. It was my academic regalia. Yay! It's beautiful! The gown is black with a green velvet panel down the front, gold trim, and big round poofy sleeves with three strips of green velvet. The hat is the round beefeater variety and has a green, white, and gold tassel. The part that I am unsure about is the hood. First of all, who wears a hood and a hat at the same time?? Second of all, the hood is red and blue. What the what? It's very colorful and it actually looks kind of cool with the red and blue hood coming across the black and green gown but... I am not convinced. So, I phoned the company...sigh. The person that I needed to talk to was not in the office today. So, I emailed her...twice! Then, I called the University of Saskatchewan. Again, the person who I needed to talk to was not available today. So, I went on the University of Saskatchewan website. The hood that is shown in the picture is green and gold...whaddayathink? Is it possible that there are different hoods for different specializations? Do you really think that Education would choose the old red and blue one?? I'm not quite buying it (I mean, I already bought it and it cost a fortune but...). Tomorrow, I plan to get to the bottom of this issue. I'll keep you posted.

Tonight, I mowed my lawn. I love freshly mowed lawn! It just smells good.

How do you $pend Time??

I LOVE analyzing people. Today, I've been thinking about different ways that different people spend their time. Time is precious. We use the verb "spend" in reference to time because it requires a budget similar to money. It is a finite resource. I probably spend more time in my life wishing for ‘more time’ than I do wishing for ‘more money.’ I guess, in some respects, that places me in a privileged group.

Spending time presents a bit of a conundrum for me. I can’t decide whether I should try harder to scrimp and save or whether time is like love and that magic penny – “lend it, spend it, you’ll have so many they’ll roll all over the floor!” I usually try the magic penny approach first. When it doesn’t work I become very stingy about the few precious hours that I have left over.

In response to my last post, Mike suggested that I needed to read a post on Ordinary Courage, a blog hosted by Dr. Brené Brown, called “In the Weeds.” In the post, she talks about how our modern society pushes us to use up all of the white space between our activities. For example, while you’re stopped at a red light, you could tick a few things off your list – send a text or an email. She concludes that she is going to take a step back, refuse to feel ashamed, and enjoy her white space for a while. I completely agree with her. In reference to my previous post, I would like to have some of that white space left over for my favorite activities.

On the other hand, I’ve been trying to analyze where I can find time for some of those activities while still maintaining my current work schedule and keeping up to date with my list of household chores. In reference to this, Dr. Bev and I were talking about what you could do in the 2 minutes and 30 seconds that your food was in the microwave or during the commercials in one television show. Today, she challenged me to see, if I could dust the surfaces in the living room in the space of one song on the radio. It worked…sort of…and coincidentally the song was Bruno Mars, “The Lazy Song”.

Today, I don’t feel like doing anything.

I just want to lay in my bed.

I don’t feel like picking up my phone so leave a message at the tone

Because today, I swear, I’m not doing anything.

Clear Improvement!

My work: It’s going well. I have one interview left to code and I can move on to a more exciting phase of the process. I will try to finish that interview tomorrow morning. Tomorrow afternoon, I have three meetings…sigh.

My Non-negotiables: Nutrition, check. Exercise, check. Sleep, check. Recreation, check.

Today was a good day. I was a frugal spender. Tomorrow, I hope to have a few more magic pennies!

Priorities and Happiness: Is there a connection?

Before my coaching call at lunch today, I decided that I wanted to go back to an exercise that I completed while I was doing my Master’s degree. The activity asks you to identify the 10 things that you enjoy doing most, prioritize them from most important to least important, chart how much money each of them requires, whether they are group activities or individual activities, and how many times a month you are currently engaging in those activities. Below are the results from this morning…

Here is the chart. It's missing television but I would add that in right between telephone and reading!

Wow, it’s amazing how little time I spend doing the things that I enjoy the most. The fact that I spend relatively little time doing the things that I LOVE the most contributes directly to my ongoing dissatisfaction with life. If that is so easy to analyze, why not change it? Hmmm…easier said than done, apparently!

I could easily add in more cooking, baking, art, movies, television and reading for pleasure. I could even add in a walk or two! I’m pretty sure that even a small increase in those activities would help me to feel more fulfilled, more satisfied, and happier. Before Gilbert (the cat) died, I took time each day to watch television with him. It was one of his favorite activities. Every time I would pass by the stairs to the basement, he would get up from wherever he was laying and run part way down the stairs to see, if I would follow. When I didn’t, he would come back up. After work, when he had been alone all day, I felt like I needed to give in. So, he and I watched ‘Ellen’ every day. We both loved that time. Now, I still tape Ellen every day but the episodes build up in my PVR and I seldom take time to watch.

When I talked to Dr. Bev today, she made a statement that has had me thinking all day, “Your real priorities are the ones that you make time to do.” Ugh, how can I side-step that one?? The truth, for me, is that I simply need to manage my time better. I need to set my priorities and honor them. I’ll keep you posted on how that’s working out in the upcoming days/weeks/months…It would be wonderful, if I could keep you posted for months. That would really mean that I was doing something about it!!

Here are a few of the priorities that I set today! :)

I baked!

I finished my literature review for the PD presentation on May 24th!

...and I gave in to the guilty pleasure of the birds!

Tuesday, Wednesday...

Well, a short update tonight...

On Monday, I was pretty pumped about what I had accomplished and I felt pretty energized about what I was looking forward to. I was ready to pull out the sticky notes and get down to business. Tuesday dawned a whole new day. Literally, it was rainy and grey and I felt the same. My progress slowed to a painful grind. I cleared my to-do list but I couldn't persuade myself to dig out the markers and get back to work on my project. I went to bed last night disappointed in myself but with the knowledge that it couldn't last another day.

So today, I got down to business. I pulled out my favorite lined orange sticky notes and my purple pen. How can you be depressed about those colors?? Then, I realized that I would probably want to share the websites and the articles that I had collected for the project. So, I set the stickies aside and went to work creating a document that would be like a annotated bibliography. It was an excellent exercise and one that took longer than a day. I will have to finish it off tomorrow morning!

Once that part is finished, I can start to commit my ideas to the poster paper. Tomorrow afternoon, I am going to talk with the person from the school division who is organizing the event and tomorrow night I am going to talk to the person who is going to work with me at the event. So, I will have to be mindful that I don't move too far along with my plan so that there isn't room for further input.

Manic Monday

Yesterday, I did less than nothing. It was amazing. It was Sunday. I rolled in it. I wallowed in it. I loved every minute of it. Monday morning came as a big shock and I could feel myself once again, for the gabillionth time in my life, relating to that old Bangles song:

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday

 It's not that I did much running. I did get up and I headed to the shower but before I got there I decided that it would be a waste of time to shower before I did some reading to get my head around my tasks for the day. At 10:30, I was still sitting at the computer in my pajamas deeply engaged in reading and research. It was good. I was excited. Although I don't generally feel very excited when I know I have reached the point in my study at which I have to submit myself to the literature review process, once I am engaged I truly enjoy it. Tonight, I am going to choose, against all of my sustainability instinctes, to leave my computer running so that I can return tomorrow morning to the open windows and the waiting information. I am preparing a presentation/discussion about school divisions collaborating with each other to offer better quality professional development for their teachers in a more efficient way. Today, I read and thought. Tomorrow, I will be back to the poster paper, sticky notes, and pretty colored markers. I can't wait. I love that part!

In Brandon, we are gearing up for a serious flood. Flood cams have been set up so that we can watch the river rise in real time but unless you are familiar with the area, it might be difficult to understand how incredible the water levels are. 1000 Brandon residents have been asked to evacuate their homes by 8:00 tonight (10 minutes ago). Students from one of the elementary schools in Brandon are going to be using classrooms at the university. We are expecting heavy rain between now and Thursday.

On the news tonight, the reporter described that there was kind of an erie feeling in Brandon today while everyone waited to see whether the weather would force even wider flooding. I thought it was a good description. I could feel it, too. It's one of those odd times when people are brought together around an issue that seems much bigger than the regular issues of our day to day lives.

On a personal note, I had my hair cut today. It is such a relief. I have taken before and after pictures to share. I hope you agree that the transformation is positive and significant.



I'm Ba-ack!

Hello to all of my loyal followers...ok, I know that there are actually only three of you...well only two unless you count Dr. Bev at livethesolution.com. Even though she doesn't officially follow me, she does read my blog. So, I count her. I am considering the idea of expanding the circle and allowing more people to read my daily accounts. I've been away for a while. During that time, I tweeted a link to my blog and survived. That was a big step. The next and probably most logical first step is to send it out to family, friends, and colleagues. I'll work up to that in the next few weeks.

Today was my first day back in Brandon and back at work. It was really a hodge-podge of catching up to emails, phone calls, and requests that came in while I was away. It went smoothly for the most part and I think I am pretty much prepared to leave for Winnipeg tomorrow. On Friday morning, four of my colleagues and I present at MADLaT. I will be home on Friday night and prepared for a VERY low key weekend.

I participated in a coaching call with Dr. Bev on my way home on Tuesday. Although I thought I had left my mom's house early enough to be in Regina by the time Bev called from London, I had the times mixed up and I realized a few hours into my drive that she was going to call before I reached Regina. So, I watched the clock and the bars on my phone to make sure that I had service and I pulled over just a few minutes before she called on an approach just outside of Parkbeg, SK, home of Gainer the Gopher! Just after she called, a train chugged by and, of course, blew it's whistle as it crossed the small trail that I was parked on. I promised her that I would take a picture and post it on my blog so that she could see where I sat as we had a serious conversation about non-negotiables and saying 'no'.

Looking West

 

Looking East

After I talked to Dr. Bev, I anticipated that the rest of the trip home would be pretty uneventful (double lane highway, good weather, good road conditions) but there was one more picture worthy moment. The water was over the highway between Grenfell and Broadview. I slowed down to about 40 but there was a big truck right on my bumper and I was scared to slow down too fast. So, I hit it pretty hard and the water splashed up all over my windows. By that time, the semi that you can see coming towards me in the picture was right in the middle with me. I knew he was there but I couldn't see anything. When I finally got the windshield cleared, I was steering towards the open water!!! Yikes. That wasn't uneventful at all. Lucky for me the panic only lasted for a few seconds.

River Boat Captain or Splash Down Park??

Don't say yes when you want to say no!

In high school, my principal advised me to read a book titled, Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No! When I thought about that today, it helped me to realize that my problem with having too many things on my agenda has been going on for a long time. It was something that he recognized in me when I was seventeen years old. The problem is...the lines are really blurred. There are only rare times when I am aware that I want to say no and feel for some reason that I can't. Usually, I say yes for a different reason. Usually, it's because I don't want to miss out on ANYTHING. That started a long time ago, too. That comes from being the much younger sibling of four...

I am currently concerned about the state of our society, or at least the part of our society where I live and breathe. I am not alone. Most people that I know are too busy. Like me, they say, yes, too often. I have a theory that if we could slow down, make our goals achievable, and concentrate on doing each of those things well, we would be much more successful. Instead, I rush. I look at the list. It is beyond reason and as soon as I think, "I can't possibly..." my internal voice says, "Oh, yes you can!" Just to confirm that my internal narrative is accurate, I often hear from colleagues statements like, "Oh,really? You're not going to do ANY work this weekend?" or "You might just have to resign yourself to working through your summer holidays." Have we lost track of what is really important in life? Beyond that, is this continual fast paced fury any more efficient?

I can articulate my inner narrative and I, actually, disagree with it both privately and publicly. But alas, I have yet to escape the anxiety that I feel when I am judged through the lens of the christian work ethic and someone looks down on me and says that I need to work harder. Inside my head, I hear the voice and the voice says, "See, I told you so!"

Monday, what a pleasant surprise!

Last night, I got into bed on the wrong side but surprisingly I got out on the other side!! I knew it the minute my eyes opened. I had a brand new attitude! What a great way to start the day! I'm not sure but it might have had something to do with my decision to turn off the 6am alarm. I shut it off and decided that I really NEEDED more sleep. Two hours later, I was good to go.

My work was waiting right where I left it last night. So, I came directly to my computer to get started. I already had the payoff in mind. If I worked hard and finished the task, I would have time to have lunch with my colleague Mike (from Mike's Musings about Ed Tech). So, I was motivated both to get up and to get started. It worked. I finished the report by 10:30 and had time for a shower and a Skype discussion with the person who was awaiting the final draft of the report.

After lunch, I had a list of meetings...1pm, 2pm, 3:30pm. They were all good meetings and I came home ready to tackle the next challenge. The next task is to do the project description for a funding proposal.  I have worked on it for most of the evening - except for the time that I took to go for a quick and cold walk around the block! Tonight's work was my favorite kind - colored pens, sticky notes, and BIG paper! It seems that I can always think better when I enlist the support of those kinds of supplies.

Tomorrow, it's Dr. Bev Day! I am looking forward to our call but I don't remember, if I have any homework. I'm sure I must. I will probably have it written down in my notes from our last meeting. Oh, damn! Now, I remember. I was supposed to tweet one of my blogs. Yikes. I haven't done it, yet. I've been waiting for a good one. I wish I had tweeted the one about the non-negotiables. I guess, I could still tweet it. Or, I could wait until I write another one that seems fit for public consumption, right?....Right?

Was it Sunday today??

This will be a short post.

I kept my promise. See pictures below as proof.

 

I had an extremely stressful day...work, work, family, and work with family. It was exhausting. I'm so glad that it is a short week!!

Saturday in the Office!

Hmmm...grrrr. Saturday at work? Yes, I have decided to work this weekend. I chose to work. I am happy to be working. That was the self-talk that I was doing ALL morning. Here is how the day turned out:

I did good about staying focused on my work but I managed to passively agressively negotiate my non-negotiables. I'm looking at the clock, right now, and wondering which ones I can stick in before bed. I'm thinking that r-e-l-a-x-a-t-i-o-n looks good. I think I'll pick that one for sure. I'm also favoring food because I'm sure that it will help me to sleep better. I guess, I will sacrifice exercise, again. Instead, I will make the commitment to get up tomorrow morning, pull on a hat and go out for a walk before I do ANYTHING else. I'm just not in the mood for dancing tonight!

As for the day, it was pretty good. I'm less stressed about work on Saturday. I always feel like no one can tell me how much work is enough on Saturday. So, I do it with joy and I do it just the way that I want to do it. I take time and I make sure that I do it well. I love that sense of accomplishment - the job well done.

I started slowly this morning. That also makes me happy. I like to relax first and then ease into it. Once I turned my attention to work, I started with formatting a report for a colleague. I moved on to reviewing some documents that came out of our meeting about the entrepreneurial 'think tank' the other night. Finally, I reviewed an ethics application for my one graduate student who is preparing to engage in his thesis research. Additionally, I returned emails and phone calls regarding each of the aforementioned tasks. It was a good day.

Snow Day!

Today, it is snowing again.

This morning, I puttered at home...email, booking a hotel for an upcoming conference, organizing. It is surprising how quickly time flies. Each job takes 'just a few minutes' but those minutes certainly add up.

This afternoon, I had a few meetings at the university.

Tonight, I went with friends to a dinner theatre in a small town outside of the city. The play was hilarious. The actors did a marvelous job of the physical comedy. The meal was delicious. When we arrived at our table, I noted that they had it decorated with 'cake pops'. They are little balls of cake stuck on the end of a wooden stick and then dipped in chocolate. And, they are certainly the IT treat this spring because I keep seeing them everywhere! First, my niece at The Fabulous Design File had made them for her son's super hero birthday party. Next, I noticed that they were the new item on the Starbucks menu and now, I have identified them for the third time at the dinner theatre tonight. They were so delicious that I ate two!

They had filled the parfait glasses with 'sprinkles' (like you would put on donuts, or ice cream, or birthday cake) so that when they stuck the cake pops in they stood up like little bouquets. Beautiful!